Monday, April 16, 2012

The Battle for Toby's Soul

In this house, we try to keep things pretty G Rated. I have a pretty sensitive soul...and I seem to have passed this trait onto my children. So we don't watch scary movies, we dont watch anything that has anything remotely scary or intense. Its just too much for our tender hearts to handle. So when my sweet little Toby started having horrible nightmares, it started to really worry me. There was nothing in his life, that he has been exposed to, to be terrified of. At first we thought they were night-tares. But after reading up on them, the symptoms just didn't match up. For starters, he would wake up, terrified, and tell me what was going on in his dream. But just couldn't snap back into the reality that he was awake. I read everywhere that when in the middle of a night-tare, the child will seem awake but be completely unresponsive. That was not the case here. Also, children will not likely remember night-tares in the morning, but Toby would remember every single part of it. He would wake up screaming for me. I would go in and he would proceed to tell me what was going on in his dream, or what was scaring him. Every 5-10 seconds, he would look somewhere in the room, get the most horrified look on his face (I mean...the super creepiest...he just saw an ax murderer kind of face...completely petrified) and just start crying hysterically. So the first couple of times, we got him up and tried to just snap him out of it. But that didn't work. So the next couple of times I just turned on his radio to AIR 1, and just prayed for him till he fell back asleep. Now this would put him back to sleep, but the next night or so, it would happen again. So I started to talk to people about it. His Chiropractor was one of them. He is a Christian and was asking if we thought it was spiritual. I did, I always think that stuff is spiritual. I mean come on, we have an enemy, that is constantly trying to stir up trouble in our lives. So I told him I pray for him when it happens, and that he will go back to sleep. But that the nightmares come back in a couple of days. So he mentioned something about unconfessed sin. I hadnt really thought about it much. But boy did I now. I did not want to think of my isuues affecting my kids. (which by the way...they always do...just not always in the same way) So I really spent some time praying and reflecting. All the while really praying for Toby too and that these nightmares would stop. So of course they got worst. A couple of the dreams he told me made me know for SURE that the enemy was behind them. He had one of them at nap time. He told me that there was a snake with three heads, and it was wrapping him up and wouldn't let him go. Another one, was that he was outside and there were people across the street. He said that he asked me to go over there, but I said no. He said "I made a bad choice and went across the street" (obviously knowing his disobeyed me) and he said that because he made a bad choice, the people turned into monsters and got him. I am sitting here shaking while I type. The symbolism in these dreams are just so spiritual in nature...there was no denying it. Well God revealed to me what my unconfessed sin was, and it wasn't some horrible deep dark secret, it was just some issues with Kevin that I had buried. No big deal really. But Kevin and I talked about them, asked and prayed for forgiveness. We also prayed for and over Toby. And especially over his room and soul. The next morning I was talking to Toby about how we prayed for him and how he doesn't have to be afraid of his dreams because Jesus is with him. I asked him if he knew that he could ask Jesus into his heart. I asked him if he knew that Jesus died on the cross for us. For him. For our sins. He died, so that we don't have to when we make mistakes or bad choices. He said he knew. So I asked him if he wanted to ask Jesus into his heart. And of course I got an enthusiastic "YEAH!!" So we prayed together and asked Jesus into his little heart. It was beautiful. Every night, after our bed times prayers, I prompt him to "say it". He then screams out "I am not afraid...because Jesus is in my heart" He declares it, and I say "AMEN!!" So now for the most amazing news...THE NIGHTMARES HAVE COMPLETELY STOPPED. Since he has asked Jesus into his heart, he has not had one single bad dream. I can't even tell you the relief that this brings to my heart. These dreams were in fact spiritual. There was a battle going on for his soul and guess what...God won...God ALWAYS wins. SO while these nightmares were horrible while they lasted, I am so thankful they happened. They forced me to look at my own heart and really fight for my sons. And all this resulted in (at least) one more soul in the kingdom of heaven. This kid will do great things for God...I just know it Photobucket

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Happy Easter...its my Christmas Letter

Merry Christmas…Happy New Year…Happy Valentines Day, and Happy Easter. Sheesh…I guess better late than never this year huh? 2011 was an amazing year. Between our loan modification and new lower house payment, the kids being older and pretty self-sufficient, and both kids being in school at least 3 days a week, the stress level at the Fisher house has gone way down. THANK THE LORD! Its only by the grace of God we have survived the last couple of years in tact. This year we finally feel like we could catch our breaths and enjoy life. And boy did we! The highlight of our year was being able to take our first real family vacation. We went to the Grand Canyon for 3 days. The kids were perfect and we enjoyed a train ride to the Grand Canyon, lots of quality time, and the Polar Express! It was so much fun. Kevin never changes much, which is fine with me because I love the way he is! He is still enjoying bbq-ing, food trucks, and long talks with my dad about both those things. Still working for Budweiser, and has been enjoying his Redlands route very much. The kids love to go meet him and see his “mack” big rig. He got into an accident and totaled his beloved Subaru. It was hard to let go of his fast car, but he ended up getting a truck, which he enjoys very much. He loves to take us up in the hills to go off-roading (or hot roading and the kids call it) I don’t enjoy it, but do enjoy the quality time with the family that it brings. So I am warming up to it! He and Toby also enjoy Nerf gun wars together. Boys will be boys huh? This year for me has been a year of thankfulness. I am SO thankful for my business, (which is continually growing and allows me to stay home with my kids) my health, (ran my first half marathon in April…13.1 miles!!! And have kept my 25lb weight loss off) my walk with God (He is SO good, and continually amazes me with his personal and intimate touch in every aspect of my life) and my family (LOVE MY FAMILY!!) With the kids being older needing less constant attention, I have rediscovered my best friend. I am very much enjoying being able just to hang out and talk to Kevin again. Life is just finally feeling right…I am finally getting the hang of balancing everything. Olivia is now 5 and in Kindergarten!! Oh my goodness how time flies. She has an amazing teacher, who is very serious about Kindergarten, so she is learning so much. In just 4 short months, she went from barely knowing her letters, to reading 20 page books. It is so cool to watch. She also got her first award in school, for personal accountability. Way to make mama proud!! She is still obsessed with animals, stuffed and real. She has such a tender heart for them. She really wishes Toby and I were not allergic. So she will have to stick to taking care of her 100+ stuffed collection. (Its ridiculous) Speaking of her heart, it’s the best thing about her. She is so in touch with how she feels and others around her. Worship songs make her tear up, and the sunset makes her “heart beat so fast”. I see the Holy Spirit wooing her already and it makes my soul so happy. She is SO beautiful inside and out…and I could not be any prouder of the girl she is becoming. Toby continues to be the life of the party…and our family. His happiness and laughter are contagious. I just wish his energy was! The boy is non-stop. Non-stop talking (we can understand almost all of his 100mph talking now), eating, (as much if not more than me) moving (He has to run everywhere), and growing (grew almost 3 inches and 3 shoe sizes this year!) He is so fun to be around and makes every situation or destination better. He has a great sense of humor and loves to play jokes and harass people (Just like his dad and Papa). He is now 4 and in preschool 3 days a week. He loves it. Wants to go everyday and talks about his friends at school all the time. He is so smart too. When I was teaching Liv her letters and numbers this summer, Toby would yell out the ones she didn’t know. Just watching me do the flash cards with her, he picked them all up. Its crazy how fast he learns. I am really enjoying our days alone together while Olivia is at school. On our “date days” we go do something just the two of us. He tells me a million times that I am his best friend and he loves me. I make him promise he will feel that way even when he’s 15. He says he will. Happy New Year!! Hope it has started off and will finish with love and thankfulness. Love, Kevin, Lauren, Olivia, and Toby Fisher Photobucket