I have always wanted to be in the kind of shape to do one of these short marathons and I finally am. I started out slow on the treadmill and can go for a long time. I have been seeing the ad in the paper and thinking I should sign up for it, and then I saw a post from Mandy saying that she was going to do it, and I thought this is it...Im doing it too. I am really excited to see if all my hard work since January is going to pay off. We'll see...
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
I get into these moods where I get sick to death of how tiring life is. I spend so much time just doing what is necessary to get through the day that sometimes I just stop working. Today is one of those days. I sit back and just look at what has gotten me to this place. The place where I just want to stop moving...stop thinking...stop being everything to everyone. I realize that this is my vice in life. My regard and empathy for others is exhausting. And the worst part is that I completely bring it on myself but have no ability to stifle my feelings. My expectations for myself, and others, put a wedge between me and the people I care about most in this world. My life right now is a vicious cycle. I am torn between what I want to do and what I have to do. Who I want to be and who I am. What I want to act like and say and what comes out in the heat of the moment.
It's time like these when I realize that I have been trying to do things on my own and God is slapping me in the face with the tough reality that I am weak. But my pride makes me angry at Him for letting my once again slip a little further away from Him instead of being angry at myself. Why can't I keep that fire? Why can't I make a little one on one time with Him each day? Why do I let life and my obligations get in the way of focusing on who I want and need to be for myself and my family. Why does life have to be so damn hard? I am mad. I am sad. I am tired.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Trying to take on John's Incredible Pizza alone...with two kids...and no stroller.
It was a productive lunch though:
Salad and pizza for Liv and me.
Just pizza for Toby.
Soft serve ice cream and a baby donut for each of us.
Games and rides.
2 Shamu squeeky toys and two Asian fans (that barely made it to the car in one peice but still fun)
Glad we did it...but I will never brave it alone again.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
So miss Liv thinks that she doesn't need a nap anymore...but mom still needs her to nap. So today during nap time this is what she was doing: (oh Lord help me 10 years from now)
However...because there was no nap, this is what happened after dinner while I was cleaning up.
P.S. Tell me why when she does actually nap, if I make any small noise it wakes her up? But she can fall asleep at the table, with dishes clanging and Toby playing with his loudest toys possible?
If you know me at all you know I hate being outside. But Kevin and the kids absolutely love it. So yesterday being the beautiful day it was, Kyle came over with the boys and we spent most of the day playing outside. I sucked it up and hug out with them taking pictures to capture the kids love of the outdoors. Here are a few of my favorite:
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
It started this week with me thinking that Baby Buster will be here within the month and that got me really excited. I love when new babies come. It is the most exciting news you can hear from someone. I can still remember the feeling of excitement and anticipation knowing they could come out any day. Oh man how I miss that. (Not enough to have another one just yet though)
But then I was at church on Sunday and there is this couple that just adopted a six month old baby girl with down syndrome. She has the absolute sweetest face in the entire world. I can't keep my eyes off of her. Every week I watch her little bobbing smiling head in front of me. She has already had to have heart surgery though. And I guess the mom had to quit her job because the little girl needs to have tests done almost everyday to make sure that everything is growing/healing correctly. I am thinking about all of this as I look at their family, and realizing all the sacrifices they will have to make now and for the rest of their lives. It just shouldn't be that hard for any baby, or any parent and it just makes me so thankful that there are people in this world that are made to do something like that...
So we are singing worship and the song that we were singing goes "We sing freedom, we sing freedom, we sing freedom in the name of Jesus." Then the verse changes to healing. "We sing healing, we sing healing, we sing healing in the name of Jesus." As soon as the verse starts, I look up to see one of the dad's hand shoot up, holding the down syndrome baby girl in the other and I just lose it. Not crying... but tears streaming down my cheeks. He, with all his soul, is singing healing for this child and I am a mess watching it. It just moved me.
Then I get news that my cousins wife had her baby yesterday (3 weeks early) but had placenta previa and her body tried to deliver the placenta before the baby. She had an emergency C-section but baby is not doing so hot. So she is going to be air lifted to another hospital with a better NICU. (Hopefully Loma Linda so we can go visit!) It just again makes me so thankful for healthy babies. The most exciting moment in their life has turned into their biggest nightmare and I just can't even imagine the fear they must be feeling right now.
So all this sadness and then news tonight that there might (?!?!?) be another baby for me to love on... oh my!
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